BOREDOM

quote-boredom-is-the-root-of-all-evil-the-despairing-refusal-to-be-oneself-soren-kierkegaard-101918

Boredom my dear

So many questions clouds my mind

I hope you don’t mind me asking?

How did we become so close?

When did we fall in love?

I must admit, you have been so overwhelming

Never letting me out of your sight for long

Even when I broke your heart, disrespected you and walked away

You came back knocking, apologizing for what you never did wrong

I acknowledge your intense care, love and gestures

Your passionate embrace ever wrapped around me like a diaper

True! A quiet life my heart had always desire

But the silence you brought plunged my heart into despair

I’m sorry if I had wasted your time making you feel like you were the one for me

The truth is, you never were and never would be

Please do not try to contact me for I have moved on

The things you left at my place I have already mailed to you

It was not nice knowing you but I take full responsibility

For all the wrong decisions I made because of you

Being with you had taught me one of life’s most important lessons

Never be idle, no matter what.

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© Sawndei  2017

 

 

 

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Portrait of a Christian

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What does a Christian look like, I pondered?
Of what nationality is he, I wondered?
Is he tall or short, slim or fat?
Then I learnt, he is a man like Christ
A man favoured by divinity
A man with whom there is no impossibility
Free of hate and full of love
Void of pride; an emblem of humility
Peace personified
But I’ve heard, I’m just a dreamer
That no man can be absolutely spotless
That it’s just an idea meant to provide a sense of worth
So this is my resolve
If Christianity is an illusion then I don’t want to be right
If it is a fantasy, then I don’t want reality
If it’s a lie then I wonder what’s true
For how could I have found so much Joy, peace and fulfillment in a fallacy?
I’m a Christian, that’s what I’m meant to be
Who are you?

 

© Sawndei 2017

 

 

Pursuit… in three words

pursuitHarper: (talking to Lance) Do you think the children are going to pledge?
Lance: Am not thinking, the Sullivan’s have been “fried” over a hundred years and we’re going to keep that moving.
Harper: So tradition! That’s what your main principles are?
Lance: (retorted) I didn’t say so…
Harper: Alright everybody then, (taking a quick glance at everyone in the room) if you have to put your principles into three words what would it be? As for me, I’d say Creativity, Stability, partnership.
Brian: Tradition, Family and Love
Julian: Ancestry, Perseverance, Children
Quentin: Money, women, women (he’s the crazy one)
Lance: God, Family, Football
Harper: In that order?
Lance: In that order.
(culled from the movie “The best man holiday (2013)”. If you’ve seen it then you might have noticed I replaced some words, however the message remains intact.)

Recently i saw this movie again and asked myself; if I have to write my top three pursuits, what would it be?

Of all the things my heart seemingly desires; the desire to love and be loved, the desire to be successful, famous, known, respected, the strong desires to live a peaceful serene life, the desire to write, preach, and teach the word etc. the solace I have received at different time had not been real comfort as I had expected. The excitement is like the blood rush you get on Christmas Eve, suddenly the next day the ecstasy seems like an exaggerated display of emotion.

I feel excited when a target is met, a goal is achieved and I’m able to hang out with someone I truly care about, but then what happens when they are away? What happen when another challenge crops up and yesterday’s laurel is just a cup?

Many people have different views about life: some say, live one day at a time. Does that imply considering one day as a life-time in which whatever you do will be directly consequential on your eternity which in this case begins tomorrow? Or is it just a way of reliving oneself of the burden involved in doing too many things at the same time? Well, I don’t really know.

Some others says, to live the life, we love to live; to love the life, we live to love… it’s a tricky words play involving live, love and life, and I wonder if the aim is to get us confused or that we may give a deep thought to finding true solace. Maybe it actually means to live the life I truly desire, I need to love to stay alive and love that life by living solely to love… or it’s just a psychological thing aimed at keeping you in a circus until you get a hold of yourself and press the stop button.

What’s a perfect life like? Or in a simpler term, what’s a perfect day like?

Is it a day spent with family, at work, with loved ones, achieving one goal or the other? Is it a day free from pains, disappointments, and sorrows? Or is it a day spent for others: loving, giving, helping and sharing?

Since one man’s treasure is another man’s trash, there’s actually no ideal model for a perfect day. However, the truth is that life is interplay of events and people, if events and people are pieces of a puzzle, then one misfit could cause a distortion of the whole picture. I wouldn’t think it is right to allow the things that happen in and around my life to determine my joy, or dictate my mood.

It’s true…
To have a shoulder to lean on may actually be life’s greatest gift, to have a friend to talk to about anything can be refreshing and to have a successful career, a fat account can be very elating. The truth is shoulders grow weary, friends come and go, success may fade and riches like birds may fly away. I’d rather prefer a constant that isn’t affected by time, space or matter rather than a variable like the approval of my loved ones; as good as that may seem. Fall in love, hang out with friends, get a career, succeed and make all the money you want, but if you ever give any of this the power to dictate your life, you are headed for the alley of mystic.

But My Resolve…

I have decided to be happy and rejoice always not because I’ve got the best relationships, a fat account, the success I desire and every pieces of my puzzle rightly placed. I am rejoicing because in spite of my current challenges, pains, and misfits, I am doing Ok. Yeah, I still get hammered upon by frustration, depression, lack, failure; but I have my unperturbed peace because the hammering is done without while the source of my joy, my ultimate perfection is within.

 

Now to answer that question, the three most important pursuits in my life: God, Love and Ministry, and Yes, in that order. What’s yours?

 

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Wasteth?

He wasteth not

He may call you to be His minister
To deliver specific messages to the unreached
A people living far away from civilization
And it may seem like you are blotted out of the map
But know that your life is secure with Him
He wasteth not

He may ask you to leave the job you cherish
To forsake the goal you passionately pursue
To take a job you would never have considered
And it seem like it’s a set up for impoverishment
But know that your future is set in Him
He wasteth not

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He indeed has called you to spend time with Him
To give up moments of pleasure, bliss and fun
For worship, praise, study, pray and fellowship
And it now seem like His plan is to make you anti-social
But know that your time is important to Him
He wasteth not

So whatever it is He requires of you
Oh Yes! You’re still breathing so He has a demand
I implore you, be certain of what it is He demands
Whether it seem noble or ignoble, great or small
Count yourself lucky to so tasked
He wasteth not

For after all has been said and done
And all that has being done is said
Everything not done for Him will waste away
Only the life and moments spent for Him will yield interest
Then the enormous reward that awaits will be a prove
He wasteth not.

 

Testifiers Unit… My first few month in a Lagos Church

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Happy New Month… it’s been about a year since AMEN; my last post and a lot have happened that I would want to share. Well I would just start by writing from my personal diary. I have tried to edit to some stuffs to avoid “personal, personal things”. Though the events are real, the names changed, but it’s really about what I did learn. So thanks to every member of the testifier’s unit, you guys really inspired me.

Praise the lord, my name is Paul… I want to thank the lord for the salvation of my soul and also last week, on Tuesday precisely…

(In my mind), this brother again, always having one testimony after another to share. Last time he recovered his missing wallet, the week before that it was how the lord turned a angry boss to become his friend. Now I wonder what he has to say. Is he trying to intimidate us or something? Or is it that he is the only one that God has been faithful to? Come to think of it, maybe I should just walk up that aisle and say something too. Haba, Kilode!

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Wait! Is that not sister Bola standing behind him? Wonders shall never end! since I first entered this church some three months ago, she has been testifying of the goodness of God alongside Bro. Pee. Well, what has the Lord done again today? Two weeks ago she got a new job and just last week she narrowly escaped an accident, maybe God has given her a husband this week?

Testimony in this church ehn! See Sister Laide for example, (yes I know all their names since that’s the first thing they say when they come on stage) her testimony has been the same since I came to this church. All she does is to rephrase or paraphrase the same thing, not like we understand what God has really done for her; all I just know is that “God has always been faithful to her despite her unfaithfulness”. My natural mind has continually pondered “what’s this unfaithfulness she continually emphasizes?”, someone need to actually tell her to become faithful cause am tired of hearing that same word every time. Hmmmm…. Running away

My concern is this; I know a church can have an ushering unit, a drama unit, a Sunday school department, a prayer unit and a choir unit but it seems like this one has a testifier’s unit which also features a few guest testifiers once in a while. If that is true, then Bro. Pee must be the leader of that unit. But you know, your guess is as good as mine, there’s nothing like a testifier’s unit. The things I see here are truly strange, but since am sure God is here, I’ll just sit down and see how it goes.

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Back at home, testifying of God’s goodness was like celebrating a wedding, all your friends, family and well-wishers will join you as you dance majestically to the stage. The choir will usher you in with a slow “4/4 beat” song usually it’s “God is good, He has done me well…” .The conventional thing is to say “Praise the Lord” three times before sharing your testimony. You will then seek permission to sing three songs; one will be offered by your unit members, one by your family or friends and the main one which would involve the “emotions of appreciation” by you. The third song rendition is the most interesting part; the testifier will either be on his/her knee or rolling on the floor to show deep reverence for God. These testimonies are normally accompanied by sacks, wrapped gifts and envelops except the testifier is a student in which case only the songs will do.

Lest I forget, you would have called earlier to inform the church leadership about your thanks giving at least a night before the service, with few exceptions where you would have to beg and sometimes plead for permission like God just prompted you to do it NOW.

So you understand my plight when I saw a group of people who would just stand up abruptly, no previous preparations (as evident from their testimony), and no singing (which is actually the cue of the testimony where I came from). Sometimes I had wondered if this testifier’s unit would still exist if they have to come with thanksgiving gifts. Are they truly grateful to God for who He is or are they just passionate about wasting our time in church? So I decided to go close and find out the answer to this question.

I did my research and this is my findings…

They are obviously not the most righteous people in the church; neither are they the most blessed of all.
They are just a collection of sincere and appreciative heart who understands truly that whatever they have is not truly theirs, it’s just a gift from God.
Even when they get a job seemingly by their certifications they still ascribe the glory to the Lord, acknowledging him as the source.
They are hardworking yet refusing to take the glory; they are highly placed yet humble, they are intelligent yet intentionally submissive to Him.

Now where does that leave me? Nah, not on the other side, I have a valid excuse…

You see am a very shy person who would rather not come out in front of the crowd, and you know that does not totally suggest being ungrateful. Ok wait let me put it this way, it’s not that am like “shy shy” it’s just that somethings are just not necessary, God see your heart and he knows if you are grateful or not. What’s your excuse for not testifying?

The truth…

No excuse is good enough? Thou art inexcusable O man…
God demands we testify of his goodness, his faithfulness, his loving kindness amidst his people. Psalms 22:22.

The testifiers unit is recruiting, would you like to join?

…AMEN.

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For every promise, there is a premise… Sade Akanni

Happy New Month. May this month bring to you abundant mercy, grace and unfathomable greatness… (pause) you just said a word i didn’t write, whether consciously  or unconsciously, you obviously just muttered “Amen”.

Why?

May be because its just the normal response. Now let’s take a trip back to every first day of the last few months  beginning from January 1. How many monthly declarations have you said and typed “Amen” to?

From 2016, my year of ******, to February, my month of increase (at least for some), through march, month of marching forward, to April, May and now its June.

Evidently we all know that most of this declarations have turned out to be a joke. Imagine tagging a month, month of increase, forgetting that increase suggests a growth in what you already have. Will that not be a curse on someone who spends most of his/ her time watching movies, playing games and sleeping… except the increase is targeted at physical size.

Sam Adeyemi once said “If you spend all your day and night praying, all you will get is more anointing, no money, except you are planning to put the anointing in bottles; anointing for healing, anointing for headache etc.”

Yesterday, I saw and heard  a few people say and write out the promises of God for man as clearly depicted by Mary’s encounter with the Angel. They stated the promise, many said and typed Amen, neglecting the premise.

Let me take you through that conversation that ensued between Mary and Angel Gabriel;

… Mary you have found favour with God (Mary could have screamed Amen here, but she waited).

You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. 

The Lord will give Him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, his kingdom will never end.

The promises were wonderful but Mary knew she was not married and a virgin cannot give birth. Well, that was not the whole message Gabriel was sent to deliver, so he told her she was  going to conceive by the Holy Spirit. (You know the Story). The part we often overlook is thus; when Mary said Amen (i.e be it unto me according to your word), She was saying Amen to the premise and the promise.

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She said Amen to the shame and disgrace often associated with young ladies who “played the harlot” in their father’s house, she was saying Amen to the possibility of losing Joseph; her prince charming. She was saying Amen to the reproach she would bring on herself and her family. She was saying Amen to suffering and pain in order that she may be the mother of the King of Kings.

So before you say Amen to the promise “…you will eat the fruit of the land” be quite ready to say Amen to the premise which is “If you are willing and obedient “(Is. 1:19). Before you claim the covenant of headship; say Amen to Obedience and follower-ship (Deut. 28:1,13). Before you start screaming Amen to inherit the nations and possessing the earth, humbly say Amen to Son-ship. (Psalm 2:7,8). Before you say Amen to ruler-ship, kindly say Amen to diligence (prov. 12:24).

Don’t make God out to be a liar, if He has promised, He is also able to do, but He will only fulfill His whole (premise + promise) counsel.

Amen.

IF YOU GET THIS SHORT MESSAGE FROM ME, YOU COULD ACKNOWLEDGE BY TYPING AN AMEN… (Of course) to the Premise and Promises of God.

CATALYST

Have you ever felt like quitting because nothing is working? Do you feel like walking away and go do something else? Well if it be any consolation, i want to tell you, you are not alone.

It doesn’t matter if you are a student, a banker, a business man, a writer, a pastor… we all get to that point where quitting poses as a thought and then we are left with a choice; will i quit?

We are all faced with difficult situations at one point or another in our lives and so we react in three major different ways because we live by three major precepts; logic, religion & diabolism.

A logical man defaults to more work, more study, attends seminars etc. in order to change his status. The religious almost immediately start praying and fasting. The diabolical starts saving to buy the items required to appease the gods.

Like you see on social media “… can we get to the part where i become successful?”  Many wants to skip the process and get to the product. We all want a catalyst and by that we only mean; someone or something that speeds up the rate of a reaction. No chemistry or physics teacher would give you a full mark if that’s all you write about a catalyst.

A catalyst is small, it doesn’t begin a reaction… (you can consult Ababio or Okeke for more). It does work in a chemical equation but not in life’s equation. A catalyst in a chemical equation helps you do more in little time but in life it compounds issues.

It’s just like getting lost in a forest and then you remembered that you had a map all along. The map doesn’t automatically solve your problem, in fact it kind of compounds it, since you have to first proffer the solution to the question where am I?

Or after two years of investment in a business and failing you finally pick up a book on “how to start a business?” hoping it acts as a catalyst, well like i said earlier, it doesn’t work in life’s equation.

The way out?

I read something yesterday that kinda inspired me:

When you feel like QUITTING, think about why you STARTED

Why did you start…

If it’s not passion, then you are in a trip to the most miserable moments of your life. There’s a maxim that says: “Love what you do and you will never work a single day”.

When what you do becomes work then you need to revisit the beginning. people quit from work not passion (as long as they still have the strength). No wonder a successful man retires from work (a place where he earns money) and still goes to golf club (a place where he spends money).

Why did you start writing? If its not passion then when the traffic is low, you will get frustrated and stop.

Why haven’t you started writing? Is it because you are scared you are not good enough or that people might not read?

Why did you start…?

Why haven’t you started…?

The road is going to be rough, do not think you could activate a catalyst along the way, start with passion and if you are already on the road, don’t quit, just remember the passion with which you started.

HAVE A PASSION FILLED JOURNEY… Thanks for Reading